Would anyone miss me tomorrow?
Sitting at the small desk, staring out the window I ponder.
The same thought bothers me, like it did days ago.
Circling and circling through my mind in an endless cycle.
What does it mean?
Why do I think it?
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
What a strange question to ask yourself.
Of course someone would.
I have friends.
Family.
Neighbors.
Certainly one of them would miss me.
At Lunch, the thought comes again.
From my spot at the smaller empty table, I think.
The noise around me is nothing but a buzz.
My friends were busy, but I understood.
Eating along was fine by me.
I could think more, and eat faster when I didn't talk.
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
Of course, say again.
I'm late again.
The lights are on, and the front door open.
I know I'm in trouble.
Father stands at the kitchen door.
Mother on the couch.
I can see it in their faces that I fight just happened.
Was it my fault they shouted?
Did I mess it all up again?
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
The question eats at me now.
The yelling starts again once I reach my room.
Mother thinks I need a break.
Father thinks I need a sport.
They shouting gets louder.
To me it's a dull roar.
When did I become so numb to their screams?
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
The neighbors might be happy.
The screaming would stop.
The house would calm.
The morning is bleak.
Father is gone.
Mother is still crying when I enter the kitchen.
Should I speak?
Or should I just leave her in peace?
She doesn't seem to notice me, so I carry on.
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
Father might have stayed.
Mother might not have shed a tear.
School is numbing.
From the teacher's lectures,
To my friends jokes.
I choose to sit alone today.
I have much to think about.
If I died today, would anyone miss me tomorrow?
The teacher wouldn't have to worry about another failed test.
This time I'm alone when I get home.
The house is dark.
The lights are off.
I drop my bags.
My hands are shaking.
If I died today...
The room is spinning.
My head aches.
If I died today..
Left foot.
Right foot.
I walk to the kitchen.
If I died today...
Mother is pulling into the driveway.
The lights are still off.
My hands still shake.
If I died today...
Pain.
I feel pain.
Is that my pain?
Or am I feeling someone elses?
I'm numb, right? I don't feel pain.
If I died today.
Mother is crying.
I must have made her sad again.
Even Father is crying.
... Would anyone miss me tomorrow?
